It's finally getting to me, all this time of Peter being gone all day and evening/night long going to school and studying. It's not so horrible, really, but he's so busy this quarter, while Little Chub is starting to experience separation anxiety, so not only do we barely seem him for more than a few minutes on some days (I know, many of you have experienced much worse...), but Little Chub often doesn't want to be held by him because she's in a Mama phase, and that's sad. And the reason that it really finally started getting to me this morning is my stupid dreams this morning. In one, he was not being himself--he was refusing to see any logic and arguing with me and making me very angry, and in the other one, we were watching a (non-existent in reality) movie with some cheating going on and in that way that dreams have, we became the people that the movie was about, and it was no longer a movie but reality. ARGH! When I have dreams like that, I wake up with the emotions of the dream and even though my brain realizes they were dreams, I still have the chemicals/hormones/whatever floating around in my body that accompanied those emotions, and I have to make an extreme effort to change my attitudes. It's not fair to either of us to have stupid dreams affecting my behavior.
Anyway, we should be able to have some time with Daddy home for a few days now, and it makes the busy days worth it, because these days will be better, with less homework.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
It's Catching Up to Me
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2 comments:
I have dreams like that all the time. It's so hard not to bite Keith's head off after something like that and he's like 'what did I do?' What am I supposed to say? 'You cheated on me in my dream and it REALLY HURT ME!!!!'??
I hate being without Keith when he's busy with school and internships and stuff. I wish I could come over and appease your loneliness, but I know it's PETER you want! :) HUGS!
YEP! It's hard to let it go after a dream like that. For years, my dreams always included Chris cheating on me with a blond woman. Not any one in particular. She was just always blond in my dream.
I can't decide whether my dreams these past few years are better or worse, though. Now, it always surrounds polygamy being reinstated. So instead of me being able to at least get mad at Chris in my dreams, now it's ME whose the wicked one. UGH! I can't win!
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