Friday, January 19, 2007

Traitor!

Even in the midst of my pleasure and gratitude for how Little Chub slept last night, I still feel little pangs of guilt, not only for making Little Chub cry, but for "ditching" my fellow co-sleepers and switching to the camp of crying-it-out. I feel like a traitor! But, like I said before, I love co-sleeping! It just wasn't working for us anymore. "Why should we believe you?" you ask. I don't really know how to answer that question.

Little Chub was not getting enough sleep, and we were starting to notice this in her everyday behavior. And of course, it was getting really frustrating for us that she was waking up so much and wasn't going to sleep well. The BIGGEST reason that I did the cry-it-out method is that I was getting a shorter and shorter fuse with her, and my patience was wearing thin. I really did NOT like the way I was snapping at her or getting frustrated at her when I wanted to go to bed but she just wanted to play. I want so much to be a good, happy mother, not a grouchy bear. I read so many different things that other people have done. I especially love reading other moms' experiences on
http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/parents/. I'm trying to be a responsible parent and make decisions more for HER good than for mine.

And all this really is a post to convince myself that I'm not a bad mommy... But I AM happy with this. One night down, who knows how many to go? If it was like this every day, she would probably still be doing better than many other babies. We'll see how today and tonight go...

2 comments:

Real said...

FWIW, I don' think putting her in her crib and having her fall asleep within 5 minutes qualifies as the "cry it out" method!

You shouldn't feel guilty about your decision at all. Co-sleeping was what worked best for you in the beginning so you did that. Now, you and she need something different and so you are doing that.

It's mutually beneficial and it sounds like it's working and she's ready for it. Yay for you! Good mommy!

Anonymous said...

good job! i think a nice mama is always more important... we need to cio with Kevin... badly...