Baby Steps

That's right! Little Chub took two of 'em! All on her own. She's taken a couple of steps before when we were holding her hands and then let go suddenly, but last night, she was holding onto a chair and then wanted to keep going, so she let go and walked two steps before losing her balance! Woohoo! What a cutie! My prediction was that she would walk on March 26, Peter's was March 12. I guess we'll have to see! She's the youngest of her playgroup friends, so the only one not walking right now...

My Hair

I've been thinking that my hair needs a little bit of a makeover. Nothing really super huge, just, maybe using some products (gasp!) in it or something. I'm really tired of having this inbetween straight and curly hair that is closer to straight but has WAY too much wave in it to look good with any haircut or to look good after a shower and doing nothing but brushing it. The problem is that I have no idea how! I mean, I do know one way, which is to blow dry it, which I'm maybe willing to do. But is there anything else I can do? What do pretty haired people do?

I also have these really lame wispies that are way shorter than normal ones because they are hair that is growing back from being pulled out by Little Chub when she was younger. They go across my forehead and straight down my part, which looks really horrendous. But I guess I'll probably just have to wait for those to grow out...

The Personality Quiz

I've taken that quiz 4 or 5 times now. That's the first time I've ever gotten a P at the end. The first couple times, I was INTJ, and I don't remember what the T stands for. Then the next couple times I was INFJ. Now I'm INFP. The two things that have remained constant over the years (since I was 16) are introverted and intuitive. I've changed from judging to perceiving and from thinking to feeling, although the latter is a category that my answers almost defintiely depend on my mood. There are always several questions in quizzes like these that could go either way for me, so my mood is what determines the answer. I'm sure it's like this for most people. I think it's really funny that I scored 100% on the introverted part. It doesn't surprise me, but it's still funny.

Anyway, I have way too much fun with these darn personality tests. I could get caught up in them for hours, and they never really tell me anything new.

My Personality

Your Type is INFP

Introverted	Intuitive	Feeling	Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
100	12	12	11

INFP type description by D.Keirsey
INFP type description by J. Butt


Qualitative analysis of your type formula
You are:

• very expressed introvert
  
• slightly expressed intuitive personality
  
• slightly expressed feeling personality
  
• slightly expressed perceiving personality
  

American Idol, Plus Extra!

Well, I was almost 1 out of 4. But I changed my mind at the last second to kicking Sanjaya off instead of Rudy, and well, Rudy's gone now. So are Paul Kim, Amy Krebs, and Nichole Tranquillo. I'm quite shocked. America has proven to me that what they're looking for in a musical icon has less to do with musicality than one might originally think when hearing the word 'singer'. Oh well. To quote myself from yesterday, what do I know? America and I, we just don't see eye to eye.

Speaking of not seeing eye to eye with America, I think our entire justice system needs a rehaul. I've been thinking this for years, but when people end up getting sentenced to years in jail for throwing a cup of ice into the car next to them, or arrested for breaking down the door of an apartment with a sword trying to save someone they think is being raped, but being mistaken because it's actually only porn they're hearing through the walls, I get really really really frustrated. Fed up, really. It makes me want to DO something, but then, I remember that the way our 'democracy' is set up, my voice actually DOESN'T count for anything (see Bush vs Gore, 2000), which is another source of my frustration. Our whole government needs a rehaul. But, in my opinion, the only perfect government is one in which God is the leader, or someone who has the authority to speak and act for him, and I just don't see that happening anytime soon. In the meantime (until the Millenium), we can probably at least make some small changes, but our country is so attached to the Constitution that it's not likely to happen. The irony of it is that people uphold the Constitution, and they want to preserve the ideas in it, but at the same time, many of them want to remove the religion from it, which was central to its formation. I'm so blessed to live in this privileged country--I definitely won't argue with that. But I think there is some major improvement that needs to happen.

Sorry to rant. I guess one thought just led to another...

American Idol Girls

Well, I had the opposite problem than I thought I would. The girls really outperformed the guys. The only one that really doesn't deserve to come back is Antonella, just like I predicted.

These five girls were all really good:
Jordin Sparks
Melinda Doolittle
Lakisha Jones
Sabrina Sloan
Stephanie Edwards

If I had to pick three (like I said I would), I would have to go with:
Sabrina Sloan
Stephanie Edwards
Lakisha Jones

And that list would probably have been different if I wrote it 10 minutes ago, or 10 minutes in the future, because those 5 were all so good. Really, I liked almost all of them. There were a few bad notes here and there that kinda made me cringe. I thought it was particularly interesting that I agreed with almost everything Simon had to say the whole night, but I disagreed with Randy a lot. Does that mean that I'm mean? He was right about Gina Glocksen's note--she hit the top one that she was going for but then came down to a different pitch for an extended amount of time that really hurt my musical senses. And there was probably only one singer all night who did runs that actually sounded right with the music (I'm generally not a fan of runs because they detract from the music unless they're done just right), and that was Lakisha Jones. Anyhow, I guess tonight we'll see what the rest of America thought. I'll make some predictions just for the fun of it, even though it's likely the rest of America doesn't see eye to eye with me on lots of stuff.

Guys to Leave:
Sundance Head
Sanjaya Malakar

Girls to Leave:
Antonella Barba
Leslie Hunt

What do I know?

American Idol

Since Peter's been away doing his study group at nights recently, I've been watching TV some of the times that he's gone. So I've been watching American Idol, and this is the first season I've ever watched more than one episode in. Last night, the top 12 guys performed.

My top three are:
Blake Lewis
Phil Stacey
Jared Cotter

In no particular order.

In my opinion, Sundance Head should never have made it past Hollywood, because his performance there in the groups was one of the most hideous things I've ever heard. It really annoys me that they dropped out other people who sang and performed better than him in Hollywood just because they really liked his original audition. I could be wrong, but I thought each stage of the audition process was supposed to be based on the current audition. But of course, they want a nice show, so they keep people in based on potential and stuff like that. Money always wins.

Sometimes I really question what's going on in those judges heads. When they got to the last two girls, while choosing the top 24 contestants (12 girls, 12 guys), they sent home a girl who could really sing, and kept the girl that couldn't remember her lyrics, was really mean, and didn't have anything special to her voice. That decision was an easy one for me, and they chose the opposite. I will be surprised if Antonella makes it past the first round of the top 24.

Tomorrow, maybe I'll put my top 3 girls up, although I don't really expect to like the girls as much because I've always liked male voices better...

My Nerd Score

Looks like I have lots of residual nerdiness...

Little Chub's New Bed

Well, we did it! We finally sprung for a Uhaul, and we went and bought Little Chub her own twin sized bed. I decided on Friday that the next day, we were getting a bed no matter what. So, I looked on craigslist and found someone who was selling a brand new in the wrapping with warranty twin mattress with boxspring for $127. I arranged to meet with them (at their warehouse), we rented a Uhaul cargo van, and we went and bought the mattress. We actually ended up buying the next mattress up, which she sold to me for $177, because it has a 15 year warranty, and it seemed like a better quality mattress.

I decided that since I would probably never have a Uhaul again, I was going to try my darnedest to find a free couch to pick up too, but it had to pass the looks test, because once I bring one 'new' couch into this house, Peter will buck against me ever getting a different one, no matter how ugly the one we have is. As it is, he thinks our caved in, stained, and incredibly uncomfortable loveseat is sufficient, and doesn't understand why I want a long, comfy, you-can-lay-down-and-read-a-book-in-it couch, and preferably one that is nice-ish looking (and I'm really not all that picky, because most couches are a major improvement over what we have!).

Craigslist again--I found a nice looking long blue comfy couch for free, first come first served, pick it up off the sidewalk sort of deal. I really wanted to hurry to get that couch! So after we picked up the bed, we ate lunch, checked our email, brought the bed upstairs, and then went to get the couch. The person who offered it said they would take down the ad when it was taken. The ad was still up! It was feeling urgent though. We drove across several towns about 30 minutes to where the couch was located. WAS is the operative word here. When we got there, it was gone. WAHHHH! We drove all the way back home (mind you, we're paying .59 a mile here, and this was not exactly close to our house), and I spent the next several hours checking and rechecking every source I could think of to find a couch we could get, to no avail. We ended up taking the van back, with no new couch.

Overall, though, I have to say the day was a winner. Peter didn't see the need for a bed for Little Chub either (which I assure him would change if he had to wake up several times a night to feed her), so getting the bed was a W for me. I was the one that ended up driving it all over the whole bay area, because Peter was tired, and he followed me everywhere in our car, with Little Chub. I ended up really enjoying this--it was kind of exhilarating, which probably makes Real and Mommymonster9 laugh, and shows that I need to get out more...

The best part is, we have the bed on the floor, next to our bed, which is also on the floor, and Little Chub has spent the last three nights with plenty of room to sleep the way she likes to, and hasn't woken up more than three times on any of those nights! Last night I realized she was waking up one of the times because I nursed her, and then fell asleep afterward without rolling away from her and giving her lots of space, and after that she slept till the morning. YAY! Hopefully it's just a matter of time now until she learns to sleep all night long. I'm hoping this happens before #2 comes along in September...

For now, YAY for Little Chub's bed!

HOORAY! She's 1!

Happy Birthday Little Chub! Today was a happy special day! We were very lucky that Little Chub's birthday fell on President's Day this year, so Daddy had the day off from school! (He still had tons of homework, but he put that off until late in the day so we could have fu-u-un!)

This morning, we went to the beach with some friends. It was pretty cold, as it always is at the beaches in northern California, but the sky was deep blue and the waves were beautiful!

When we got home, we had to hurry and makes two kinds of cake and a couple of pizzas. Lucky for us, a lot of our friends had volunteered to make some pizzas too, so we only had to make two! Little Chub's party was lots of fun. There were tons of people crammed into our backyard, all friends that live here in our neighborhood, Escondido Village, and who are also in our ward. We are in a really picture perfect ideal situation here for making friends!

Then, some of our friends invited us over to look at the moon and stars through their 8 in telescope, which was awesome! (And she was asking me questions about Little Chub's birth, which made me all excited, because talking about birth, especially natural childbirth, really gets my heartrate up.)

So, now Little Chub is asleep, hopefully for the night, and not for a nap, and today has been one of the greatest days in a long time! :o)

Braxton Hicks? Nursing Contractions?

Last night and today, both times while nursing Little Chub to sleep, I felt the oh-so-familiar tightening of my lower belly accompanied by that feeling in my chest (that I think Real once described to me as blood pressure lowering?). So, if I was several weeks further along, this wouldn't seem strange to me at all, BUT I am only somewhere between 8 and 10 weeks along. It does seem too coincidental that both times I was lying down and nursing, but do nursing contractions feel the same as Braxton Hicks? They were completely painless. Both times I was also wearing pants that were not really tight, but you could say they were 'holding me in'. Anyhow, I'm confused. Not really worried, but, I had actually forgotten Braxton Hicks even existed, just to give you some idea of how unexpected that feeling was. It took me a minute last night to realize where I remembered that feeling from... Oh yeah, and I know it was my uterus, because it felt the same as a Braxton Hicks, but it was only located where my actual uterus is, so not as widespread a feeling as Braxton Hicks in mid-late pregnancy.

Any insights?

My Little Chub

Yesterday's Food

Breakfast:
Large slice of Peter's Valentine's Day ice cream cake

Lunch:
Leftovers of my calzone from Valentine's Day

Snack:
A small amount of even more ice cream cake

Dinner:
Spicy nacho Doritos
~1/2 chicken breast sandwich w/ tomato, lettuce, onion, mustard and low fat mayo

Um...yah. I wrote this down because of how embarrassing it is. I'm actually proud of myself for the dinner though (the chicken sandwich part of it anyway) because I was craving a hamburger, like a Whopper, and I went for the much healthier alternative of the homemade grilled chicken sandwich. Even the Doritos don't catch me up to what a Whopper would have done.

And about the ice cream cake for breakfast--it may seem weird, but in reality it lowers my overall calories for the day because you can bet your bottom dollar I would have still had the cake sometime later, even if I had eaten a normal breakfast. It's my "minimize the harmful effects of junk food" technique. It also works for yummy things like pumpkin chocolate chip bread or pumpkin pie, etc.

And since there are only two of us, we still have half the cake left! AHHHH!!

Our Valentine's Day

This has never been much of a special day for us. I always try to make it kind of special, but, well, as they say, it takes two to tango... I was watching the news last night as Peter was studying on campus, and they were showing long lines of guys in floral shops and candy stores, and they asked someone about if he felt pressured on Valentine's Day and showed him saying, "I think all guys are in the same boat when it comes to feeling pressured." HAHAHA! Yeah, anyway, that's all I'll say about that.

So, in the morning, I made Peter an ice cream cake (2 layers of chocolate cake with chocolate chip ice cream in the middle, and topped with a chocolate whipped cream frosting). This was really yummy! He actually came home for lunch unexpectedly because he finished an assignment early, while Little Chub and I were playing with her friend Oliver, and the smell of the cake was permeating the house so much that he went searching the kitchen for the source, and of course, found the incomplete ice cream cake. So as soon as I got home, I made up the frosting (~1/3 cup powdered sugar, ~1/4 cup cocoa, heavy whipping cream, beat it all until it's VERY stiff, then add vanilla and voila! Yummy yummy yummy!) and we ate some cake then instead of having it for dessert after dinner. Earlier in the day, I ordered calzones and garlic cheese bread to be delivered at the time Peter was supposed to arrive home. Unfortunately, he asked questions, so I answered them, and this was not a surprise either, AND he ended up arriving home a couple minutes before the calzones were delivered anyway. So we ate our calzones, and he rushed off back to school, to arrive home around 1:30am. Oh yeah, Little Chub and I made a heart shaped construction paper card for Daddy, that she colored on a little bit, which is what I think he liked the most.

Days like yesterday only serve to show me how selfish and greedy I am. It's really kind of depressing if I think about it too much.

And why is it that I haven't had anything positive to say in the last couple weeks? I think I need an attitude adjustment...

Little Chub's Upcoming Birthday Party

Obviously, I've never held a birthday party for a child of mine, as Little Chub is #1, and she's turning 1. We have quite a few people that we've gotten to know pretty well, and Little Chub has a little playgroup that she plays with outside three times a week. So, we've been wanting to have a little party for her to get all of her and our friends together to celebrate her big day (even though she has no idea it is a big day...).

This is really "nervous-making" for me. (To steal an appropriate phrase/word from the book Pretties.)

We decided we're going to have homemade pizza, and one of our friends actually offered to make some and bring them, too, which I actually accepted because it really will be a big help. Then, there's the cake. Or cakeS. How many to make? What flavor? How much ice cream should I have? What flavor/s? And what about little side food items? Decorations? Having a CLEAN HOUSE?? What should Little Chub wear? When should I try to give her a nap that day? Should I give her her own cake? Who should I invite? Should I invite neighbor Y if I'm already inviting neighbor X? What time should the party be so that all of the little one year olds are happy?

Anyway, I'm still excited about it. But I haven't been part of this world ever (because inviting friends over when you're a kid just doesn't carry the same burden of responsibility), so I'm not used to entertaining large groups of non-family people. We'll see how it goes! Monday!

My Migraine

It's been a long time, I know, but for some reason I just haven't felt like writing. In the meantime, I've been planning fun stuff like Little Chub's 1st Birthday Party, and what I'll do for Peter for Valentine's Day. Both of those include lots of yummy things to bake. Yum yum!

While I was at the store last night getting supplies for both events, I lost about 40-50% of my vision, from the sides and the top. I knew from past experience that this meant a migraine was coming on soon, so I rushed to do the last thing I needed, then went and grabbed a new bottle of Tylenol (a substitute, really) since we were out at home, and drove home, very worried that Peter was going to be gone all night and I would have to deal with Little Chub with one of the incapacitating kinds of migraines. (They vary for me, from really painful to crying in my bed in a dark room with something cold on my head and covering my eyes, with no sounds nearby if at all possible, and throwing up.) The normal pattern for a bad one starts with the vision loss. BUT, if I can catch them early with Tylenol, before my head starts to hurt, I can usually stave off the worst, and sometimes all, of the pain. So I rushed home (with Little Chub SCREAMING the whole way), where I found, to my delight, that Peter had gotten home early! I took my Tylenol (lots, because I needed it), and lay on the couch with a sweater over my head, trying to see if I could keep the migraine from getting bad. My head was hurting, and throbbing a little, as my migraines always do, but, it never got to the incapacitating point! I also ate some ice cream (which I had conveniently purchased at the store, for Peter's special Valentine's treat I'm going to make, and for Little Chub's party). It was wonderful! It had been such a long time! Yummy delightful ice cream!

It was such a blessing that I was at the store and able to get Tylenol (and ice cream!) when the first migraine signs hit, and that I made it home and took some in time to keep the worst from happening. I try not to take Tylenol very much at all, especially when I'm pregnant, but I have to admit, since I started getting migraines, whenever I feel a headache at all, I take some, because they have been known to develop from something that starts off feeling really minor. So, who knows how many times I would have gotten a minor migraine that I didn't because of that magical ability my body has to curb it when I take Tylenol in time.

Anyway, there was more interesting stuff I wanted to say besides talking about my migraine (which has been residually with me all day), but now I'm out of steam. More later, I promise! 'Bout Little Chub!

It's Catching Up to Me

It's finally getting to me, all this time of Peter being gone all day and evening/night long going to school and studying. It's not so horrible, really, but he's so busy this quarter, while Little Chub is starting to experience separation anxiety, so not only do we barely seem him for more than a few minutes on some days (I know, many of you have experienced much worse...), but Little Chub often doesn't want to be held by him because she's in a Mama phase, and that's sad. And the reason that it really finally started getting to me this morning is my stupid dreams this morning. In one, he was not being himself--he was refusing to see any logic and arguing with me and making me very angry, and in the other one, we were watching a (non-existent in reality) movie with some cheating going on and in that way that dreams have, we became the people that the movie was about, and it was no longer a movie but reality. ARGH! When I have dreams like that, I wake up with the emotions of the dream and even though my brain realizes they were dreams, I still have the chemicals/hormones/whatever floating around in my body that accompanied those emotions, and I have to make an extreme effort to change my attitudes. It's not fair to either of us to have stupid dreams affecting my behavior.

Anyway, we should be able to have some time with Daddy home for a few days now, and it makes the busy days worth it, because these days will be better, with less homework.

To Crave or Not to Crave?

That IS the question!
Whether 'tis nobler of the woman to suffer
The cravings and salivations of a usurping pregnancy,
Or to take food into her willing stomach,
And by succumbing end them?

What to do, what to do, to prove to Pop that I'm not a fool...

Sometimes my head is just full of these things... Strangely enough, the second has nothing to do with the first... I'm such a nerd.

Anyway. I never really feel like I get "strong pregnancy cravings", but all the same, I always get foods into my head while I'm pregnant that I don't normally think of when I'm not. This causes me to make purchases at the store that I wouldn't normally make, even though I rarely purchase the actual food item that would fulfill the so-called "craving". Yesterday, I decided some lime potato chips would be great. Mmmmm, it sounded so yummy, and I'd been wanting a BBQ with the whole hamburgers and potato chips thing for a few days anyway, so it was following along the same lines, but the LIME part was inserted, and quite necessary. I've also really been wanting popcorn. (Peter pointed out that both potato chips and popcorn are the best nutrition empty form of salt and fat he can think of. He has a good point...) So, at the store today, I got (in addition to the french bread) some popcorn (94% fat free butter) and some sour cream and onion Baked Lays. Hmmmm.... no lime. The chips did not cut it, AT ALL, but at least I kept the fat and calories to a minimum while succumbing my agency to pregnancy. I haven't had any of the popcorn yet. We'll see... I should just make a rule stating that I am allowed to indulge in a craving for 1 out of every 4, or something like that. I really don't get many, I swear!

I'll let you know about the popcorn...

Mmmmmm!

We went for a simple dinner tonight. I've really been wanting something bready recently, which was sad, since we were pretty much out of flour, so I couldn't make anything. So, when I went shopping today, I decided to spring for a loaf of french bread at Safeway (which, here, is $1.59) because I just couldn't wait the necessary 12-18 hours it takes to make my favorite bread (I usually just put it together and let it sit overnight, which is really the easiest way to go about it). So, it turned out that Peter needed a quick dinner anyway so he could rush back off to school and work on his homework with his study group. When I found out, he was going to be home in about 30 minutes, and was only going to be home for about 10 minutes. It worked out perfectly! We had really yummy french bread sandwiches!

My sandwich:
french bread
low fat mayo
Dijon mustard
thinly sliced colby jack cheese
tomato
lettuce
avocado
sliced turkey lunchmeat
onion

Peter's sandwich:
french bread
cream cheese
olive oil
thinly sliced colby jack cheese
tomato
lettuce
avocado
onion
sliced turkey lunchmeat

It turns out that as Peter was riding his bike home, he was thinking to himself that he didn't want chicken on rice with a sauce (which is pretty standard here, though the sauce can be one of MANY things), and that he would really prefer something with bread. Hehe! Yay! The sandwiches really hit the spot for both of us. Mmmmmmm! It was sooooooo good!

In addition to the sandwiches, we shared a pear and an orange, and Little Chub and I each had yogurt.

We All Fall Down

Ok, maybe you don't. But I do and we did! This morning Little Chub and I were riding Peter to class on my bike, and as I was turning around to head back home, my back tire rode onto my flip-flop, and down we went! Little Chub cried really hard for a minute or two, and her hand flesh was shaped pretty funny, but since she was wearing her helmet (thank goodness!), her hand was the only thing to be injured, and that only happened because she rests her hands on the outside of her little seat instead of on the bar in front of her. I got a scrape on my elbow and my knee. Thank goodness we weren't really moving when it happened! It was pretty embarrassing, though, that it happened on campus because a lot of people were around, including an old man who was probably a professor, and a college aged woman/girl who gasped and came running to help (which was very nice of her). I didn't end up needing any help though because Peter had only taken a few steps away from us, so he came right back and offered to come back home with us if we needed it, but it turned out we didn't, and everything is fine. I find it quite ironic that I fell on my bike and it had nothing to do with being pregnant. And my Little Chub is such a trooper! She is such a wonderful baby!